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The Codependummy Podcast


As a young woman, you have been raised, reinforced, and rewarded to put the needs of others above your own (i.e., to be codependent). Now, in your 20s, you're finding yourself exhausted, exasperated, and enveloped in crap relationships. You're tapped out at 22, burnt out at 25, or having a quarter-life-crisis as you approach 30 and asking, "If I'm doing everything to make everyone else happy, why am I so miserable?" This podcast is to help you undo all that so you can stop playing small and start taking up space, ya dummy! One episode at a time, I will help you let go of your codependent ways so you can stop being such a codependummy and shine like a codependiamond! Let's get to it!

Aug 21, 2023

-What does codependency look like with coaches, mentors, and gurus?

-What can go wrong when you rely too much on a coach?

-How can you focus on your inner work to ultimately decide what is best for you? (rather than continuing to rely on the advice of others)

Welcome to Episode 140! This week, Dr. Rima Bonario is back for her third interview! During our time together, we took an in-depth look at what codependency can look like with coaches, mentors, gurus (really any authority figure). As a coach, Rima sheds light on what codependency can look like as a participant/mentee/student: leaving your brain at the door. She describes the good and bad of being codependent with a coach, the long-term consequences, and what codependents can be mindful of to avoid an over-reliance on mentors. We conclude with Rima’s advice on how to focus on our inner work to avoid so much outer dependence on others. It’s a must-listen. 

Links for the show:

Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497 

Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing

FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge 

Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC

Work with me! Email marissa@codependummy.com to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!

More on this week’s guest: 

Dr. Rima Bonario is a Dream Weaver, Soul-Coach and Wild-Heart Healer who draws from the culmination of 30 years of her own evolution to help women experience personal wholeness, relationship harmony, and material abundance in their lives. 

Medicine, Magic, and Money 5-module course for FREE: https://www.thesevenqueendoms.net/money

www.rimabonario.com 

www.facebook.com/rimabonario 

More deets on the episode: 

Rima is back for the 3rd time ya’ll! What a gift! We start off with hearing what codependency looks with coaches/mentors/gurus (and other authority figures!). Rima describes how, as a participant, codependency can look like: finding someone you resonate with and concluding “this person has all the answers.” She describes how codependents will “leave our brain at the door” and potentially make decisions that our coach wants, however, are out of alignment with our ultimate goals. 

We hear how Rima has observed codependency in herself as well as her coaching clients. She describes how, culturally, we love the “expert” archetype. However, if we are not careful, we neglect to think critically about their advice/input/teaching and do things that don’t work for us. Rima emphasizes how we must balance our lineage and gnosis. 

Rima highlights how codependents are vulnerable to vertical and horizontal worship in coaching settings: we worship our coach while attempting to please our peers. “This soothes us but it is a trap.” Ultimately, blind codependency with a coach/mentor/guru can lead us to spend money excessively on their programs, feeling more confused about our direction, relying on outer guidance excessively, and poor self-esteem. 

How can we avoid codependency with coaches/mentors/gurus? Rima suggests “taking your ‘no’ with you,” taking time for inner wisdom/guidance, practicing self-forgiveness and self-compassion, knowing your goals, and inhabiting ease. 

Rima spells out initial steps to cultivating our inner work, including a focus on being over doing, affirmations, attributing our success to ourselves, using mistakes as teaching moments, co-creating with others (like coaches), and working through a place of ease. 

Thanks for coming on Rima! And thank you for listening, my dear listener!

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-The Self-Validation Challenge - free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek: www.codependummy.com/challenge

-Get your copy of the Confiding Codependummy: 30 days of journaling prompts for a less-codependent and more-conscious you! www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing 

-If you are wanting to dive into your codependency deeper one-on-one, please email marissa@codependumy.com to work with me!

-Sign up for the newsletter: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497 

-Support the show via a one-time secure donation: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC 

See you next week!